Six Types Of Annoying Nigerians On The Internet.

Nigerians are everywhere. Including the internet. Especially the internet, and like anywhere you find us, you’ll most likely come across annoying Nigerians that make you just want to buy an assault rifle (asides those telling you they are princes and have billions in a foreign account. I mean, how many Naija peeps will fall for that?). I’ve taken a bit of time out to categorize my five most annoying set of Nigerian on the internet.

1 The LOL Monsters

Where you can find them: Facebook, Twitter, pretty much every social network there is.

[b]What makes them really annoying: [/b]These guys just type LOL to everything you post on social networks. I had breakfast: lol. My boyfriend dumped me: lol. My husband’s plane crashed and he is currently in coma and the doctor said he might have to undergo a sex change to save his life: lol. Sometimes, I begin to suspect that these guys don’t even know the meaning of the slang sef. There was once I got so pissed that I posted this on my Facebook timeline:



The response I got?



As some people say, I blame MTN for giving that person free MB!
2 The End Time Warriors

Where you can find them:  Facebook, twitter, their office....

What makes them really annoying: I don’t know who started this really silly trend on Nairaland but it has got really annoying. Honestly, this I have never found funny. What has the end time got to do with Davido posing with a car he recently bought? Or someone creates a thread to discuss a new Tecno phone and the next thing you see is end time things. Let me take a bit of time to let you guys that do this know something: IT IS NOT FUNNY! And if some people catch you doing this in real life, you might get shot. It has got so bad that when my pastor mentions “end time” in church, I roll my eyes (to our Nairalanders, not the man!). I am only grateful this crap hasn’t spread to other sites, else, discussion online with my fellow Naija people will become pointless.

Photo Evidence:

 
3: The Pointless Commentators

Where you can find them: Blogs (Again)

What makes them really annoying: Have you ever taken time out to craft a beautiful piece, an article that took so much time, energy and use of wikipedia and you’re looking forward to the erudite discussion that would follow after you’ve posted said discussion on Nairaland, only to see this:



Unfortunately, i’ve been a victim on more than one occassion and i’m beginning to wonder what I did to ASUU that they have refused to let certain people return to school. I mean, if you have nothing to say, don’t comment! Ahn ahn! Sometimes, some of them quote an entire post only to type “hmmm” at the end or “okay”. Honestly, if it were possible for me to find some of the people doing this, they would be carrying the marks of a huge frying pan on the sides of their faces.

 
4: The “Shake-Ya-Moneymakers”

Where you can find them: Goal.com comments section, Nairaland and pretty much everywhere else you can post a comment

What makes them really annoying: These are the guys that post ads everywhere, evening on articles reporting a tragedy. They promise you can make one billion dollars from your bedroom if you buy one silly eBook or follow their “infallible” procedure. One wonders why they keep posting spam in the comments section of blogs and on forums if they have made said billion dollars. And their grammar is usually so atrocious, it makes you wonder how someone with such ridiculous sentence structure managed to write a manual on how to make $1000 in thirty minutes.

Photo Evidence:

5 The Random Fighters

Where you can find them: Same as the moneymakers above, but more especially on blogs
What makes them really annoying: These guys just make random comments to piss people off so they can start off a slagging match just for the fun of it. It is people like these that derail threads by just plain insulting others and making next to no point at all. Especially on Nairaland, after like three pages of comments on a thread, you begin to wonder what exactly the thread was originally about. Online, most of them like to think they are like this:



In reality, a number of them look like this:

6: The Numbered Champions

Where you find them: Forums especially. I don’t know if some Nigerians have taken this to CNN’s website or Yahoo News.

What makes them really annoying: This trend was started about the same time comments sections came to blog posts on the internet, which was about like, 9000BC but we Nigerians only started ours in 2013 (way to be early to the party guys). Someone apparently thought it was funny to bring it back and I must admit it was once a bit hilarious to see “First to comment, dancing etighi”. But now it is funnier to watch third mainland bridge being painted (it is not funny at all). Not only do people take numbers for being first, second and third are also given thanks for. They should be the first, second and third to get banned on the thread.

Photo Evidence:




Okay, fine, I admit, that last one was quite funny sha….but the rest are still annoying!

So here are just six types of annoying Nigerians on the internet. There are still more, which I will post much later, so part 2 is coming soon so *Nollywood movie advertisement voice* WATCH OUT! And when it comes out make sure you *Nollywood movie advertisement voice*GRAB YOUR….*well, you can’t call it a copy now, can you?*…well, that’s all!