Six Lessons Of Life (fun) -

Lesson 1 : Unclad Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his
wife is finishing up her shower when the
doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps
herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands
Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she
says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to
drop that towel.” After thinking for a
moment, the woman drops her towel and
stands Unclad in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800
dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back
up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her
husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door
neighbor,” shereplies. “Great!” the husband
says, “Did he say anything about the $800
he owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining
to credit and risk with your shareholders in
time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and
the manager are walking to lunch when
they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it
and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll
give each of you just one wish” “Me first!
Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I
want to be in the Bahamas, driving a
speedboat, without a care in the world.”
Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says
the sales rep. “I want to be in
Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my
personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof!
He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says
to the manager. The manager says, “I want
those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in
and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to
reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
accident. After controlling the car, he
stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun
said,”Father, remember Matt 7:7?” The
priest removed his hand. But,changing
gears, he let his hand slide up her leg
again. The nun once again said, “Father,
remember Matt 7:7?” The priest apologized
“Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving
at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest
rushed to look up Matt 7:7. It said, “Ask,
and it shall be given unto you. . . ”
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your
job,you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing
all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit
like you and do nothing all day long?” The
crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the
rabbit sat on the ground below the crow,
and rested.
…A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, youmust
be sitting very high up.
Lesson 5:
Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would
love to be able to get to the top of that
tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got
the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on
my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re
packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked
at a lump of dung and found that it gave
him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after
eating some more dung, he reached the
second branch. Finally after a fourth night,
there he was proudly perched at the top of
the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer,
who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it
wont keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the
ground into a large field. While he was
lying there, a cow came by and dropped
some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay
there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was
actually thawing him out! He lay there all
warm and happy, and soon began to sing
for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing
and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under
the pile of cowdung, and promptly dug him
out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your
enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of poo is
your friend
3. And when you’re in deep poo, it’s best
to keep your mouth shut ! (c)

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10