Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry

There is a stage of life called “the
meantime.” This is when you are in
transition from one particular season of life
into another. For example, when you are
making the leap from being a college
student to being a professional, from being
childless to being a parent, and from being
single to being married. This is a time of
waiting, of anticipation, and of excitement.
It’s also a time of preparation and growth.
Or, at least it should be.
For many singles, “the meantime” leading
up to marriage is difficult. The waiting can
get old and can wear on you, which is why
it’s important to be on guard for the
behaviors and attitudes that come from
getting impatient and from acting out
impulsively. Consider these five behaviors
to avoid while waiting to marry and
determine how well you are doing in “the
meantime.”
1. Sleeping with another person’s spouse
The desire to be married or to be loved
should never lead you into a married
person’s bed. Not only do you contribute to
breaking a marriage covenant, but also you
set yourself up to be cheated on once you
get married. Furthermore, your self-esteem
plummets when you stoop that low just to
feel close to someone. The married person
may string you along and promise marriage
to you at some point. But just know this, if
he/she cheated the first time, there is a
strong likelihood that cheating will occur
again. Either way, you will reap what you
sow.
2. Being jealous or envious of another
person’s spouse or marriage
I’ve heard from single women who say, “I
can be a better wife than she is.” “She
doesn’t treat her husband like he’s
supposed to be treated.” “I’m nicer/sexier/
smarter than she is. Why can’t I find a
man?” On the other hand, men might
wonder, “How did he get that kind of
woman?” “He’s not making the kind of
money that I am making.” These types of
comparisons don’t lead to the marriage of
your dreams. They lead to competition, low
self-esteem, and an envious attitude. When
you secretly desire someone else’s
marriage, you don’t have any room in your
heart for God to bless you with your own
marriage. Instead of making comparisons
and being jealous, why not be happy for
the couples you know and do your best to
stay out of their business because no one
knows what happens in a marriage behind
closed doors.
3. Appearing desperate and lonely
I remember my parents teaching me that
how you carry yourself matters. People will
respond to you and respect you based off
of what’s on the outside, first and what’s
on the inside, second. Sure, things should
be flipped, but the reality is that they
aren’t. That’s why appearing desperate and
lonely is not a good look for someone
desiring a healthy, happy marriage. Grown,
single women can appear desperate if they
are always dressed provocatively or if they
are constantly seeking attention from a
man. A man might want you for a night if
you appear easy, but I doubt if he will want
you for a lifetime partner. Grown, single
men can appear desperate, too. Every time
you see them they might be trying to pick
up a different women. They grope and grab
women, use cheesy pick up lines, and wear
too much cologne. They are just desperate
and maybe even a little creepy. To attract a
woman who will respect you as a man, you
need to dress like a man and not like a
teenage boy. You also can’t appear to be
on the prowl. Appearances matter for men
and for women.
4. Speaking negatively about the
opposite sex and about relationships .
What comes out of your mouth matters. All
men are not dogs, and all women are not
gold diggers. All men will not cheat, and all
women aren’t trying to trap you in a
relationship by getting pregnant. If you
speak negatively about the opposite sex,
then you meet and date negative people.
You also have to stop speaking negatively
about love and relationships. If you have
been betrayed in the past, that doesn’t
mean you will be betrayed in the future.
Statements like “I don’t trust anybody,” and
“I’m not giving my heart away again” set
you up for failure. You will never
experience the blessing of marriage if you
don’t trust or open your heart. So be
careful how you speak about your future
spouse and about marriage. Your tongue
can block you from your blessing.
5. Attaching your happiness and identity
to another person
If you don’t know who you are right now
and if you aren’t happy in your single
status now, things will not change once you
jump the broom. Another person can’t
make you happy, even if he/she is your
spouse. It’s sad to see one person in the
marriage be totally consumed by the other
to the point that he/she doesn’t know who
they are. Just because you come together
as one in marriage doesn’t mean you don’t
have individual personalities or interests in
life. The union of marriage helps both
spouses grow into who they are individually
while at the same time grow together as a
couple. So, regardless of your marital
status, be happy now, love who you are
now, and walk in your purpose now.
If you are single and desire to be married,
your day will come if it is God’s will for
your life. What you do now, in the
meantime, has a profound impact on what
happens once you say “I do.” So, don’t
block your marital blessing by getting
impatient and opening yourself up to the
wrong attitude or behaviors. Instead, focus
on how you can experience the blessings of
life now, which will make your marriage
stronger and happier once it becomes a
reality.
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to-avoid-while-waiting-to-marry/

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