10 Things Extraordinary People Say Everyday.

Want to make a huge difference in
someone's life? Here are things you should
say every day to your employees, colleagues,
family members, friends, and everyone you
care about:
"Here's what I'm thinking."
You're in charge, but that doesn't mean
you're smarter, savvier, or more insightful
than everyone else. Back up your statements
and decisions. Give reasons. Justify with
logic, not with position or authority.
Though taking the time to explain your
decisions opens those decisions up to
discussion or criticism, it also opens up your
decisions to improvement.
Authority can make you "right," but
collaboration makes everyone rightand
makes everyone pull together.
"I was wrong."
I once came up with what I thought was an
awesome plan to improve overall productivity
by moving a crew to a different shift on an
open production line. The inconvenience to
the crew was considerable, but the payoff
seemed worth it. On paper, it was perfect.
In practice, it wasn't.
So, a few weeks later, I met with the crew
and said, "I know you didn't think this
would work, and you were right. I was
wrong. Let's move you back to your original
shift."
I felt terrible. I felt silly. I was sure I'd
lost any respect they had for me.
It turns out I was wrong about that, too.
Later one employee said, "I didn't really
know you, but the fact you were willing to
admit you were wrong told me everything I
needed to know."
When you're wrong, say you're wrong. You
won't lose respect--you'll gain it.
"That was awesome."
No one gets enough praise. No one. Pick
someone--pick anyone--who does or did
something well and say, "Wow, that was
great how you..."
And feel free to go back in time. Saying
"Earlier, I was thinking about how you
handled that employee issue last month..."
can make just as positive an impact today
as it would have then. (It could even make a
bigger impact, because it shows you still
remember what happened last month, and
you still think about it.)
Praise is a gift that costs the giver nothing
but is priceless to the recipient. Start
praising. The people around you will love you
for it--and you'll like yourself a little
better, too.
"You're welcome."
Think about a time you gave a gift and the
recipient seemed uncomfortable or awkward.
Their reaction took away a little of the fun
for you, right?
The same thing can happen when you are
thanked or complimented or praised. Don't
spoil the moment or the fun for the other
person. The spotlight may make you feel
uneasy or insecure, but all you have to do is
make eye contact and say, "Thank you." Or
make eye contact and say, "You're
welcome. I was glad to do it."
Don't let thanks, congratulations, or praise
be all about you. Make it about the other
person, too.
"Can you help me?"
When you need help, regardless of the type
of help you need or the person you need it
from, just say, sincerely and humbly, "Can
you help me?"
I promise you'll get help . And in the
process you'll show vulnerability, respect,
and a willingness to listen--which, by the
way, are all qualities of a great leader.
And are all qualities of a great friend.
"I'm sorry."
We all make mistakes, so we all have things
we need to apologize for: words, actions,
omissions, failing to step up, step in, show
support...
Say you're sorry.
But never follow an apology with a
disclaimer like "But I was really mad,
because..." or "But I did think you were..."
or any statement that in any way places
even the smallest amount of blame back on
the other person.
Say you're sorry, say why you're sorry, and
take all the blame. No less. No more.
Then you both get to make the freshest of
fresh starts.
"Can you show me?"
Advice is temporary; knowledge is forever.
Knowing what to do helps, but knowing how
or why to do it means everything.
When you ask to be taught or shown, several
things happen: You implicitly show you
respect the person giving the advice; you
show you trust his or her experience, skill,
and insight; and you get to better assess the
value of the advice.
Don't just ask for input. Ask to be taught or
trained or shown.
Then you both win.
"Let me give you a hand."
Many people see asking for help as a sign of
weakness. So, many people hesitate to ask
for help.
But everyone needs help.
Don't just say, "Is there anything I can
help you with?" Most people will give you a
version of the reflexive "No, I'm just
looking" reply to sales clerks and say, "No,
I'm all right."
Be specific. Find something you can help
with. Say "I've got a few minutes. Can I
help you finish that?" Offer in a way that
feels collaborative, not patronizing or
gratuitous. Model the behavior you want your
employees to display.
Then actually roll up your sleeves and help.
"I love you."
No, not at work, but everywhere you mean
it--and every time you feel it.
Nothing.
Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing.
If you're upset, frustrated, or angry, stay
quiet. You may think venting will make you
feel better, but it never does.
That's especially true where your employees
are concerned. Results come and go, but
feelings are forever. Criticize an employee
in a group setting and it will seem like he
eventually got over it, but inside, he never
will.
Before you speak, spend more time
considering how employees will think and
feel than you do evaluating whether the
decision makes objective sense. You can
easily recover from a mistake made because
of faulty data or inaccurate projections.
You'll never recover from the damage you
inflict on an employee's self-esteem.
Be quiet until you know exactly what to
sayand exactly what affect your words
will have.
source www.yahoo.com