Monday, 23 December 2013

Letter To Nollywood

The Nigerian movie industry, Nollywood, is
trying but they are making some mistakes
that are very glaring even to a child. They
should understand that what is worth doing
is worth doing well. I know they are hustling
like every other Nigerian, but they should
also understand that they are also
representing our country. These mistakes
can be avoided if a very creative director
directs most of these movies. These are:
1. We are tired of seeing spirits wear wrist
watches and chains. For goodness sake, this
is the spirit world you are trying portray,
why are you guys still backward in movie
directing? We should know that little things
counts. Spirits should also stop rubbing
powder on their faces and stop wearing cele
overalls.
2. Please, if you guys intend to subtitle your
movies, please subtitle it with good english
and try to edit them if possible. We are
tired of seeing sentences like "where did you
carry all these pregnant?" For pete's sake,
if you can't edit your movies, call people to
edit them for you.
3. We are tired of seeing 30+ men and
women acting secondary school children. If
my classmates were that sexy in secondary
school, I know my teachers would have slept
them all. Moreso, please make it obvious
that parents are older than their kids in
your movies. How will clem Ohameze be the
father of Jim Iyke... Ahan, in real life clem
should not be older than Jim with not more
than 10years.
4. Please and Please, our witches do not
behave like imbeciles. How will a witch grow
long fingers and very bad dentition in the
midnight and the morning the same witch
has the sweetest smile on earth. Don't make
it look all girls with bad dentition are
witches.
5. These days all your movies are Royal
this... Royal that. Last week, my sister
bought 6 Nollywood movies, Royal love, tears
on the throne, igwe must hear this, etc.
70% of Nollywood movies are about royal
stuffs, WTH. I know Nigerians don't even
give a fk about royalties. So why act it as
if its our major problem.
6. We need creative directors in our movies.
How will a thief drop his ID card in a
robbery site in real life? Why will an actor
wear double clothes because he is going to
use the inner clothe for the next scene,
please reason these things directors. Movies
should not be about love alone but other
fantastic stories. Oduah's case is there,
write and act good movies please.
7. Sometimes, I don't know what some casts
are doing in a movie. They are neither a
part of the cause, part of the solution nor a
waka-pass. They are just there doing
"uhummm", "mtcheewwww", "nonsense",
"
clapping their hands**". There are some
scenes that are unnecessary too, why will a
scene be just: tonto dike bathing, someone
mistakenly see the igwe and run, etc. Very
unnecessary.
PS: We know you don't have enough money
to produce and direct the kind of movies in
Hollywood but you can as well use the little
you have and with talented actors to
produce a decent movie.
From Concerned Nigerian

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