How to Break Up With a Friend

It’s common to
outgrow friends from another chapter of
our lives. The things we value in high
school may look quite different from
what we value today.
It’s tough to end a relationship with
someone you have a history with. Having
a “breakup” conversation with your
friend may make her defensive and
uncomfortable and going MIA and
avoiding her calls may be confusing and
hurtful. The reality is that no matter
how you approach it, there’s a good
chance you may hurt her feelings
(unless she also feels that you don’t
relate to each other anymore, which is
entirely possible).
Accept blame.
If you’re going to have a talk, frame it
in terms of your needs and try not to
attack her character or blame her for
the reason you’re not available to be her
friend. You can say, “My schedule is so
busy these days, I don’t feel I have the
time to give enough attention to this
friendship. Of course I wish you the best
but need to be honest with you that I’m
not really available to spend time with
you…” Or you can tell her that as hard
as it is to admit, you realize that you’re
in a different phase of your life and
feel that you’ve grown apart.
Show don’t tell.
Your other option is showing her through
actions, and not words, that you aren’t
available. She may take the hint if you
never initiate plans or take a while to
get back to her.
The bottom line is that a relationship
must be reciprocal. It won’t work if one
person doesn’t want to be there.
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