Successful relationships are built on solid
foundations. If you are ready to put in
the work that requires to love yourself
and make grown-up decisions, then here
are 10 Simple Principles for Having
Amazing Relationships in 2014.
1. Be Happy and Loving on Purpose.
Happiness is a learned way of life,
shares Christian Counselor Keisha D.
Hines in the article Be Happy and
Loving….on Purpose!
My mother taught me to enjoy life and
love hard. But more importantly, she
exemplified it by living a life of service
and forgiveness. That’s what separated
me from my peers; I learned how to love
and be happy. Also, I wanted to be
happy and so I was. Happiness wasn’t
always a laugh, smile, or nice gesture but
a still calmness and a genuine
appreciation for life and people despite
hardships. As stated above, I was (and
still am) happy on purpose.
2. Understanding Your Identity and
Purpose is Important
Understanding your identity and
purpose is so important before
entertaining a serious relationship says
author Delano Squires in 5 Things Your
Relationship Says About You.
It is extremely difficult to be in a
relationship with someone who doesn’t
know, and isn’t comfortable with, who
they are. Understanding what
relationships—past, present, and future
—say about us is one of the best ways to
protect ourselves from getting into
situations that are clearly not in our
best interest.
3. KNOW that You are a Winner
“Get to know who you are, so you aren’t
seeking validation from another person,”
says Dr. Michelle Johnson. In the article
6 Questions From Single Women about
Intimacy, Relationships, and Prayer Dr.
Michele answers the question “How do I
win at relationships?” by saying:
There’s nothing worse than being in a
relationship with someone who sees
themselves as a loser. They mope
around, complain, and suck the life out
of everybody around them. On the other
hand, a winner goes into situations
beforehand expecting victory. Winners in
life and winners in marriage expect
victory, but first and foremost, they
make a decision to do their work. Work
with God, and work on you!
4. Some Dating Advice Needs to Be
Ignored!
“If you are, in fact, grown, there is some
relationship advice you should ignore,”
says author Kara Stevens in the article 6
Dating Tips That Just Don’t Apply To
“Grown” Folk. She says:
But as grown folk, there are just some
dating tips that do not apply to you
because you know who you are, what you
want out of life, and what you want in a
partner.
5. Marriage is Not the Cure
Marriage does not have super powers and
can’t take a struggling dating
relationship and transform it into a
marriage made in heaven, says
relationship coach Tiya Cunningham-
Sumter in Marriage Is Not the Cure for a
Bad Dating Relationship
If a person drives us crazy when we’re
just dating, they’re probably going to
drive us the same kind of crazy once we
marry. The individual has to
acknowledge their present behavior isn’t
benefiting the relationship. If they are
unable to do that, what makes one
recognize it in a marriage? I am a firm
believer that when people show us who
they are, we must believe them. People
can and do change, but they have to
want to. We don’t have the power to
change them and neither will marriage.
6. If You Want a Successful Relationship,
Design It
If you want a great relationship, then
you should put a plan in place for
making it happen, says author and
relationship coach Jay Hurt in How to
Get What You Want by Designing Your
Relationship
Design means to plan or fashion
artistically or skillfully. We have a vision
for what we want and we plan around
the intent toward that vision.
Relationships should be no different.
Designing a plan to have a successful
relationship, whether man or woman,
just makes good sense. Knowing your
design of what you want in a
relationship puts you in a mindset of
being focused on what is important to
you and not being distracted by what
might not work for you.
7. Grown Women (or Men) Don’t Do Debt
“Debt is a curse and keeps you from
living your life free of fear, worry, and
frustration” says life coach Kara Stevens
in Grown Women Don’t Do Debt: 5 Baby
Steps To Eliminate Debt.
Bottom line: we must confront our debt
in order to control it and ultimately
eliminate it. We must tackle our debt in
order to feel and be grown.
8. Don’t Put All of Your Cards on the
Table Too Soon
In dating, some information is on a
need to know basis, says relationship
coach Tiya Cunningham-Sumter in
Singles: 10 Things You Shouldn’t Reveal
Right Away.
I had to learn that not everyone I
dated was worthy of me revealing my
inner most secrets. It wasn’t until I felt
completely comfortable and knew the
relationship was going somewhere that I
truly shared.
9. Stay Focused on the Right Things
“Focus less on getting a relationship and
more on setting up the best relationship
for us,” says Certified Life &
Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author
Stephan Labossiere in the article
Mandatory Prerequisites: 5 Keys To
Starting A Successful Relationship
Most truly desire a successful
relationship, but a good foundation has
to be in place in order for that to
happen. I’m not talking success, as in
just staying together, because plenty of
people remain in unhealthy and toxic
relationships. I’m talking the success
that creates a loving, positive, and
fulfilling relationship in the way that all
can appreciate.
10. Forgiveness Heals Your Mind, Body,
and Soul
Learn to embrace your healing and
forgive, says author Latoya Irving in 3
Ways Forgiveness Heals You.
Forgiving someone does not say that
what that person did was OK. It means
you no longer allow it to hold you
hostage. You have the right to be angry
and hurt; just don’t stay in that place.
Envision your forgiveness like a helium
balloon released in the air; once you let
it go, it never returns
http://
www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2014/
01/singles-10-simple-principles-for-
having-amazing-relationships-
in-2014/
foundations. If you are ready to put in
the work that requires to love yourself
and make grown-up decisions, then here
are 10 Simple Principles for Having
Amazing Relationships in 2014.
1. Be Happy and Loving on Purpose.
Happiness is a learned way of life,
shares Christian Counselor Keisha D.
Hines in the article Be Happy and
Loving….on Purpose!
My mother taught me to enjoy life and
love hard. But more importantly, she
exemplified it by living a life of service
and forgiveness. That’s what separated
me from my peers; I learned how to love
and be happy. Also, I wanted to be
happy and so I was. Happiness wasn’t
always a laugh, smile, or nice gesture but
a still calmness and a genuine
appreciation for life and people despite
hardships. As stated above, I was (and
still am) happy on purpose.
2. Understanding Your Identity and
Purpose is Important
Understanding your identity and
purpose is so important before
entertaining a serious relationship says
author Delano Squires in 5 Things Your
Relationship Says About You.
It is extremely difficult to be in a
relationship with someone who doesn’t
know, and isn’t comfortable with, who
they are. Understanding what
relationships—past, present, and future
—say about us is one of the best ways to
protect ourselves from getting into
situations that are clearly not in our
best interest.
3. KNOW that You are a Winner
“Get to know who you are, so you aren’t
seeking validation from another person,”
says Dr. Michelle Johnson. In the article
6 Questions From Single Women about
Intimacy, Relationships, and Prayer Dr.
Michele answers the question “How do I
win at relationships?” by saying:
There’s nothing worse than being in a
relationship with someone who sees
themselves as a loser. They mope
around, complain, and suck the life out
of everybody around them. On the other
hand, a winner goes into situations
beforehand expecting victory. Winners in
life and winners in marriage expect
victory, but first and foremost, they
make a decision to do their work. Work
with God, and work on you!
4. Some Dating Advice Needs to Be
Ignored!
“If you are, in fact, grown, there is some
relationship advice you should ignore,”
says author Kara Stevens in the article 6
Dating Tips That Just Don’t Apply To
“Grown” Folk. She says:
But as grown folk, there are just some
dating tips that do not apply to you
because you know who you are, what you
want out of life, and what you want in a
partner.
5. Marriage is Not the Cure
Marriage does not have super powers and
can’t take a struggling dating
relationship and transform it into a
marriage made in heaven, says
relationship coach Tiya Cunningham-
Sumter in Marriage Is Not the Cure for a
Bad Dating Relationship
If a person drives us crazy when we’re
just dating, they’re probably going to
drive us the same kind of crazy once we
marry. The individual has to
acknowledge their present behavior isn’t
benefiting the relationship. If they are
unable to do that, what makes one
recognize it in a marriage? I am a firm
believer that when people show us who
they are, we must believe them. People
can and do change, but they have to
want to. We don’t have the power to
change them and neither will marriage.
6. If You Want a Successful Relationship,
Design It
If you want a great relationship, then
you should put a plan in place for
making it happen, says author and
relationship coach Jay Hurt in How to
Get What You Want by Designing Your
Relationship
Design means to plan or fashion
artistically or skillfully. We have a vision
for what we want and we plan around
the intent toward that vision.
Relationships should be no different.
Designing a plan to have a successful
relationship, whether man or woman,
just makes good sense. Knowing your
design of what you want in a
relationship puts you in a mindset of
being focused on what is important to
you and not being distracted by what
might not work for you.
7. Grown Women (or Men) Don’t Do Debt
“Debt is a curse and keeps you from
living your life free of fear, worry, and
frustration” says life coach Kara Stevens
in Grown Women Don’t Do Debt: 5 Baby
Steps To Eliminate Debt.
Bottom line: we must confront our debt
in order to control it and ultimately
eliminate it. We must tackle our debt in
order to feel and be grown.
8. Don’t Put All of Your Cards on the
Table Too Soon
In dating, some information is on a
need to know basis, says relationship
coach Tiya Cunningham-Sumter in
Singles: 10 Things You Shouldn’t Reveal
Right Away.
I had to learn that not everyone I
dated was worthy of me revealing my
inner most secrets. It wasn’t until I felt
completely comfortable and knew the
relationship was going somewhere that I
truly shared.
9. Stay Focused on the Right Things
“Focus less on getting a relationship and
more on setting up the best relationship
for us,” says Certified Life &
Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author
Stephan Labossiere in the article
Mandatory Prerequisites: 5 Keys To
Starting A Successful Relationship
Most truly desire a successful
relationship, but a good foundation has
to be in place in order for that to
happen. I’m not talking success, as in
just staying together, because plenty of
people remain in unhealthy and toxic
relationships. I’m talking the success
that creates a loving, positive, and
fulfilling relationship in the way that all
can appreciate.
10. Forgiveness Heals Your Mind, Body,
and Soul
Learn to embrace your healing and
forgive, says author Latoya Irving in 3
Ways Forgiveness Heals You.
Forgiving someone does not say that
what that person did was OK. It means
you no longer allow it to hold you
hostage. You have the right to be angry
and hurt; just don’t stay in that place.
Envision your forgiveness like a helium
balloon released in the air; once you let
it go, it never returns
http://
www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2014/
01/singles-10-simple-principles-for-
having-amazing-relationships-
in-2014/
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