Here are some
myths being perpetuated in our society
that stem from a fundamental
misunderstanding of what a
relationship really is. Unfortunately,
people may have had these experiences
more than once, and begin to
generalize as well as begin to express
their opinions as overall fact.
1) You think everybody cheats.
This one is pretty basic. Kind of like Why
Relationships Suck 101. Men cheat,
women cheat, or maybe you cheat, and
you can only assume that everyone else
acts the way that you do. Maybe this
has even happened to you more than
once.
The truth is… hear me out here… not
everybody cheats. There are people out
there who possess the self control to
understand that a loving, healthy
relationship will bring more satisfaction
than a temporary physical act.
Typically, we call these people “mature,
respectable adults” and if you only
commit yourself to one of them, you
may have a more positive experience.
2) You see your friends unhappy.
Maybe you’re single but your friends are
in relationships. Maybe they don’t make
the best choices when it comes to
partners, and they are, overall,
unsatisfied. It’s only natural that this
will affect your perception of what is
normal for our generation, but you are
not them, and their circumstances
aren’t your circumstances.
If we just take the time to listen,
observe, and learn from other peoples’
experiences, we can make better
decisions when it comes to our own. You
do not have to be a victim of
circumstance, you can create your own.
3) You think you’ll be held back in life.
You do not have to choose success or a
relationship, all you need is to find
someone who will support and encourage
you along your journey. People, in
general, can be lazy and unmotivated.
They fall into routines and their
happiness or self-motivation dwindles
and this negativity can be contagious,
especially in a relationship.
It’s difficult to plan a future with
someone who doesn’t have any plans
for their own future. This is what makes
it so important to really get to know
someone as well as their hopes, dreams,
and ambitions, before you commit to
them.
The right person will be your support
system, and never discourage you.
4) You think you’ll have to give up your
friends.
Why is it that so many people feel as
though if you’ve got a girlfriend or a
boyfriend, you can no longer
communicate with members of the
opposite s*x? This, to me, is a serious
trust issue and is a red flag right off
the bat. When it is understood that you
are two individual people with two
individual lives that existed before you
knew each other, it makes life much
easier.
When you’re happy with someone,
wouldn’t you rather introduce them to
everyone and become part of each
others’ lives, rather than cutting
everyone else out?
5) You’ve had multiple relationships
with the same person.
Have you ever seen a fly that keeps
flying into a glass door when there is an
open window on another wall, but they
never seem to notice it? They just
continue to fly into that closed window
and when you’re watching, it’s obvious
they’ll never get through. You just want
to redirect them over to the open
window – this is how some people treat
relationships.
If you continue to go back to the same
person over and over and over again,
you are the fly trying to get out of the
door. It’s only natural that you’ll think
that every other door or window will be
closed too, but sometimes, you’ve got to
stop and look around the room.
6) You’ve been fishing in the same
pond.
Perhaps worse than catching the same
fish only to throw them back and catch
them again, is to continue catching
multiple different fish of the same
kind.
Many of us tend to stay in the same
circles. We often go to the same places
on the weekends or fall into a routine
that limits how many new people we
meet. Similar to the fly in the previous
example, this is a situation of how we
represent the world to ourselves. We
find only what we choose to focus on,
and much will be illuminated if we step
outside of our comfort zone and
surround ourselves with different types
of people.
7) You think all relationships end
anyway, so why bother?
There are two sides to this coin. First,
yes — most relationships do end. But,
not all of them. Am I saying that you’ll
be one of the lucky ones who ends up in
a The Notebook-esque marriage with a
white picket fence, a dog, and 2.5
kids? Of course not. But, to prevent
yourself from having a positive
experience before it even begins will do
more harm than good.
Secondly, why bother? Sure,
relationships end, but so do movies. So
do books. So do nice dinners. But we
still give our time, effort, and money to
experience these things, because it’s the
experiences along the way that make
life beautiful.
Why bother? Because each person who
enters our lives helps us grow into the
person we will become.
What do all of these points have in
common? The inherent negativity does
not come from the fact that you were
in a relationship, but from the person
who you were with.
We have all had bad (learning)
experiences along the way, but it’s
important that we don’t let them
contaminate our future.
The next person you bump into when
walking around the corner has a
completely different genetic makeup,
experiential background, family
upbringing, and outlook on life than the
last person you broke up with.
The question we each have to ask
ourselves when meeting someone new is:
Am I going to let this person take the
blame for the actions of someone
they’ve never met, or am I going to
explore the entire new work of
experiences that they can show me?
The answer is up to you.
Source: jamesmsama.wordpress.com
myths being perpetuated in our society
that stem from a fundamental
misunderstanding of what a
relationship really is. Unfortunately,
people may have had these experiences
more than once, and begin to
generalize as well as begin to express
their opinions as overall fact.
1) You think everybody cheats.
This one is pretty basic. Kind of like Why
Relationships Suck 101. Men cheat,
women cheat, or maybe you cheat, and
you can only assume that everyone else
acts the way that you do. Maybe this
has even happened to you more than
once.
The truth is… hear me out here… not
everybody cheats. There are people out
there who possess the self control to
understand that a loving, healthy
relationship will bring more satisfaction
than a temporary physical act.
Typically, we call these people “mature,
respectable adults” and if you only
commit yourself to one of them, you
may have a more positive experience.
2) You see your friends unhappy.
Maybe you’re single but your friends are
in relationships. Maybe they don’t make
the best choices when it comes to
partners, and they are, overall,
unsatisfied. It’s only natural that this
will affect your perception of what is
normal for our generation, but you are
not them, and their circumstances
aren’t your circumstances.
If we just take the time to listen,
observe, and learn from other peoples’
experiences, we can make better
decisions when it comes to our own. You
do not have to be a victim of
circumstance, you can create your own.
3) You think you’ll be held back in life.
You do not have to choose success or a
relationship, all you need is to find
someone who will support and encourage
you along your journey. People, in
general, can be lazy and unmotivated.
They fall into routines and their
happiness or self-motivation dwindles
and this negativity can be contagious,
especially in a relationship.
It’s difficult to plan a future with
someone who doesn’t have any plans
for their own future. This is what makes
it so important to really get to know
someone as well as their hopes, dreams,
and ambitions, before you commit to
them.
The right person will be your support
system, and never discourage you.
4) You think you’ll have to give up your
friends.
Why is it that so many people feel as
though if you’ve got a girlfriend or a
boyfriend, you can no longer
communicate with members of the
opposite s*x? This, to me, is a serious
trust issue and is a red flag right off
the bat. When it is understood that you
are two individual people with two
individual lives that existed before you
knew each other, it makes life much
easier.
When you’re happy with someone,
wouldn’t you rather introduce them to
everyone and become part of each
others’ lives, rather than cutting
everyone else out?
5) You’ve had multiple relationships
with the same person.
Have you ever seen a fly that keeps
flying into a glass door when there is an
open window on another wall, but they
never seem to notice it? They just
continue to fly into that closed window
and when you’re watching, it’s obvious
they’ll never get through. You just want
to redirect them over to the open
window – this is how some people treat
relationships.
If you continue to go back to the same
person over and over and over again,
you are the fly trying to get out of the
door. It’s only natural that you’ll think
that every other door or window will be
closed too, but sometimes, you’ve got to
stop and look around the room.
6) You’ve been fishing in the same
pond.
Perhaps worse than catching the same
fish only to throw them back and catch
them again, is to continue catching
multiple different fish of the same
kind.
Many of us tend to stay in the same
circles. We often go to the same places
on the weekends or fall into a routine
that limits how many new people we
meet. Similar to the fly in the previous
example, this is a situation of how we
represent the world to ourselves. We
find only what we choose to focus on,
and much will be illuminated if we step
outside of our comfort zone and
surround ourselves with different types
of people.
7) You think all relationships end
anyway, so why bother?
There are two sides to this coin. First,
yes — most relationships do end. But,
not all of them. Am I saying that you’ll
be one of the lucky ones who ends up in
a The Notebook-esque marriage with a
white picket fence, a dog, and 2.5
kids? Of course not. But, to prevent
yourself from having a positive
experience before it even begins will do
more harm than good.
Secondly, why bother? Sure,
relationships end, but so do movies. So
do books. So do nice dinners. But we
still give our time, effort, and money to
experience these things, because it’s the
experiences along the way that make
life beautiful.
Why bother? Because each person who
enters our lives helps us grow into the
person we will become.
What do all of these points have in
common? The inherent negativity does
not come from the fact that you were
in a relationship, but from the person
who you were with.
We have all had bad (learning)
experiences along the way, but it’s
important that we don’t let them
contaminate our future.
The next person you bump into when
walking around the corner has a
completely different genetic makeup,
experiential background, family
upbringing, and outlook on life than the
last person you broke up with.
The question we each have to ask
ourselves when meeting someone new is:
Am I going to let this person take the
blame for the actions of someone
they’ve never met, or am I going to
explore the entire new work of
experiences that they can show me?
The answer is up to you.
Source: jamesmsama.wordpress.com
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