13 Ways to Flirt Without Looking Like a Fool

Whether you’re trying to get the
attention of a romantic interest or
you’re just trying to convince your dry
cleaner to prioritize your last-minute
stain removal, it helps to know how to
flirt.
Everyone knows that girl who seems to be
able to charm her way in and out of
almost any situation with a smile or a
funny one-liner. It’s an almost magical
quality, embodied by people with no
apparent pattern. So what is it that the
charmers of the world have in common?
They know how to flirt.
If you feel like it’s a trait you weren’t
born with, don’t worry. It turns out
flirting is actually a talent that can be
developed. We talked to dating and
relationship experts Shamia Casiano and
Dr. Sheri Meyers about easy ways to
develop your flirting finesse and
navigate social and romantic situations
without the fear of rejection. Here are
13 tips on how to flirt without looking
like a fool:
1. Look at it as skill building. “Flirting is
a real and important skill,” Meyers says.
“Learning the art of flirting can help
you in professional situations, it can
help you melt boundaries between
people, and it gives you a sense of your
own personal charisma.” Don’t view it as
the be-all and end-all to building
s*xual relationships but as a practical
way to build confidence and make
yourself more accessible to all types of
people.
2. “Don’t put other people on a
pedestal,” Casiano says. When you
perceive somebody as more attractive,
more successful or smarter than you,
you’re setting yourself up for failure.
It’s easy to inflate positive traits in
other people, but try doing the exact
opposite: Before approaching somebody,
make a quick mental note of some of
your own attributes instead of focusing
on theirs.
3. “It all has to do with your ritual
before you go out,” Casiano says. “Listen
to a playlist that puts you in a zone of
confidence. Invite all your girlfriends to
get ready in one place. Bring your
clothes and makeup, and get ready
together to socialize and help build each
other’s confidence.”
4. Practice makes perfect. “Flirt
everywhere you go, but just a little,”
Meyers says. “The more you practice in
safe situations, the more comfortable
you’re going to be in your own body and
in yourself.” Start practicing with
strangers at the bank or the grocery
store before you work your way up to
approaching potential partners.
5. “Don’t put all your eggs in one
basket,” Casiano advises. When you
practice flirting in your day-to-day
activities, don’t worry about what will
come of it. “It’s not about being
attached to an outcome,” Meyers says.
Flirt with abandon. If you’re not
expecting every flirtatious encounter to
turn into the love of a lifetime, the fear
of rejection disappears.
6. If you’re too afraid to approach
someone, start by flirting from afar.
“Make eye contact and see if they meet
your glance,” Meyers says. A gaze is one
of the best ways to gauge interest, but
take it easy. “You can feel when someone
is looking at you, so you don’t want to
appear psycho,” she says. Her advice?
Make eye contact for two seconds, smile
and then look away.
7. “The most important flirtation tool is
your smile,” Meyers says. It’s a universal
sign to other people that you’re open to
conversation and you’re fun to be
around. A real smile says you find joy in
the little things, so a fake grin just
won’t cut it. “An authentic smile is best,”
Casiano says.
8. Channel your inner Beyoncé, or
whoever you think embodies confidence.
“When you’re first learning the skills,
think of a character that might flirt
really well and take on some of those
qualities. I was a big fan of ‘s*x & the
City,’” Meyers says. “How would Carrie
flirt in this situation? Or how would
Samantha do it?”
9. Flattery will get you everywhere. If
you’re looking for an ice breaker, start
by complimenting the other person on
something you genuinely like or find
interesting about them. Don’t overdo it;
something as subtle as “I like your tie”
can work. “A sincere compliment always
feels good,” Meyers says. “It’s a win-
win. The worst-case scenario is that
you’ve done some good in the world by
giving a compliment.” The best-case
scenario is that you open the door to
more conversation.
10. Ask open-ended questions.
Conversation that invites only “yes” or
“no” responses will fizzle quickly. Rather
than asking “Do you like this song?” ask
“What kind of music do you like?” or
“What’s your favorite album?” And then
listen and engage the way you might with
a close friend. “Don’t be thinking of
your next response,” Meyers says. “Really
hear what they have to say and ask
another interested question.”
11. “Don’t put on a show,” Casiano says.
“If you have to have things prepared to
say, that’s not good.” Let conversation
flow organically, but if you feel it
stalling, use it as an opportunity to
excuse yourself to touch up in the
bathroom or order another drink. Then
take that time to think of something to
say or assess whether it’s worth
pursuing.
12. “Don’t overstay your welcome,”
Meyers says. “Leave them wanting more.”
Even if conversation is going smoothly,
excuse yourself after 10 or 15 minutes.
If they’re interested, it gives them an
opportunity to ask for your number, and
if they’re not, it saves you from
potential embarrassment. If they want
to keep talking, they will seek you out.
“If you’re the initiator of flirtation,
they need to be the initiator of follow-
through,” Meyers says.
13. Don’t take yourself or any
encounter too seriously. “Take
everything with a grain of salt,” Casiano
says. “There is a ton of dating advice
out there that says ‘Wait three days to
call,’ but if he really cares whether you
called on day one or three, he’s probably
not for you.” Take things lightly, and
don’t be afraid to keep trying if it
doesn’t work out. “If this is serious and
intense, it’s not going to be fun,” Meyers
says.
Source: divinecaroline.com