When it comes
to finding “The One” — that one special
person and relationship that will last a
lifetime — the conventional wisdom is
simply, “When you know, you know.”
That’s all fine and dandy, but many of
us require something more concrete than
just a gut feeling.
We reached out to marriage and
relationship experts to help us pinpoint
the most telling signs that you’re in the
right relationship. Find out what they
had to say below.
1. You know what your partner needs to
feel loved — even if those needs are
different than yours.
Some people feel loved when their
partner brings them a cup of coffee in
the morning. Some need their spouse to
tell them how beautiful or handsome
they look. Others require s*x and
physical forms of affection. The point is,
each of us has different preferences
when it comes to giving and receiving
love.
“We have to teach our partner to love us
and not expect them to read our minds,”
s*x and relationship expert Dr. Tammy
Nelson said. “You know you are with the
right person when they tell you what
makes them feel loved and you are
happy to generously lather them with
whatever they need. And they do the
same for you.”
2. You fight, but you do it productively.
Conflict is a natural part of any
relationship, but how you handle those
disagreements can predict whether or
not you’ll be together in the long-run.
“How both of you behave now when you
have a disagreement also says a lot
about how you will (or won’t) resolve
problems in the future,” Dr. Terri Orbuch
— relationship expert and author of
Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a
New and Happy Relationship — told The
Huffington Post. “A good relationship is
one where the two of you fight fair. In
other words, you don’t curse, scream,
talk down to each other or dismiss each
other.”
3. You get a confidence boost from your
mutual physical attraction.
“Feeling s*xual attraction and sexually
attractive is a life force like nothing
else,” Iris Krasnow, author of s*x
After…Women Share How Intimacy
Changes As Life Changes said. “That
person who ignites you from within,
boosting your self-esteem and also
offers external pleasures is definitely a
keeper.”
4. You two are different enough to keep
things interesting, but you’re on the
same page where it matters most.
They say that opposites attract, and
while that may be true at first, it’s not
necessarily a long-term predictor of
relationship success. In fact, Orbuch’s
research has shown that the strongest
relationships are those built on a
foundation of similar underlying values
and beliefs.
“It is okay to have different interests or
movie likes, but similarity in key life
values (e.g., views on money, the
importance of religion or how you raise
children) is what keeps people together
over the long-term,” she explained.
5. Your family and friends give the
relationship their stamp of approval.
Despite what your once-rebellious heart
might have told you, your family’s
approval of your significant other does
matter. W. Bradford Wilcox, the director
of the National Marriage Project, told
HuffPost Weddings that high levels of
social support from your nearest and
dearest are crucial to a happy marriage.
“Such friends and family often have a
more objective view of your partner than
you do,” he said. “And their support can
be invaluable after the wedding. We
know that couples who have parents, in-
laws, and friends who support them as a
couple are much more likely to go the
distance.”
6. You are willing to put the “we” before
the “me.”
A commitment to doing what is best for
the relationship, rather than what is
best for the individual partner, is a
strong predictor of future marital
satisfaction. “People who are marriage-
minded should look for a partner who
talks and thinks in terms of ‘we’ not
‘me’,” Wilcox said. “Someone who
articulates shared dreams, shared
values, and a willingness to put the
relationship above his or her desires.
Couples who put their marriage above
their own desires are more likely to
flourish.”
7. You find yourself missing your
partner when he or she isn’t around.
Benjamin Le — co-founder of
ScienceOfRelationships.com — says it’s
important to miss your partner when he
or she is away. “If they are ‘out of
sight, out of mind,’ that doesn’t bode
well,” he said. “But if you have an
emotional response to him or her being
away, it’s a signal that you really want
to be with him or her.”
Source: huffpost. com
to finding “The One” — that one special
person and relationship that will last a
lifetime — the conventional wisdom is
simply, “When you know, you know.”
That’s all fine and dandy, but many of
us require something more concrete than
just a gut feeling.
We reached out to marriage and
relationship experts to help us pinpoint
the most telling signs that you’re in the
right relationship. Find out what they
had to say below.
1. You know what your partner needs to
feel loved — even if those needs are
different than yours.
Some people feel loved when their
partner brings them a cup of coffee in
the morning. Some need their spouse to
tell them how beautiful or handsome
they look. Others require s*x and
physical forms of affection. The point is,
each of us has different preferences
when it comes to giving and receiving
love.
“We have to teach our partner to love us
and not expect them to read our minds,”
s*x and relationship expert Dr. Tammy
Nelson said. “You know you are with the
right person when they tell you what
makes them feel loved and you are
happy to generously lather them with
whatever they need. And they do the
same for you.”
2. You fight, but you do it productively.
Conflict is a natural part of any
relationship, but how you handle those
disagreements can predict whether or
not you’ll be together in the long-run.
“How both of you behave now when you
have a disagreement also says a lot
about how you will (or won’t) resolve
problems in the future,” Dr. Terri Orbuch
— relationship expert and author of
Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a
New and Happy Relationship — told The
Huffington Post. “A good relationship is
one where the two of you fight fair. In
other words, you don’t curse, scream,
talk down to each other or dismiss each
other.”
3. You get a confidence boost from your
mutual physical attraction.
“Feeling s*xual attraction and sexually
attractive is a life force like nothing
else,” Iris Krasnow, author of s*x
After…Women Share How Intimacy
Changes As Life Changes said. “That
person who ignites you from within,
boosting your self-esteem and also
offers external pleasures is definitely a
keeper.”
4. You two are different enough to keep
things interesting, but you’re on the
same page where it matters most.
They say that opposites attract, and
while that may be true at first, it’s not
necessarily a long-term predictor of
relationship success. In fact, Orbuch’s
research has shown that the strongest
relationships are those built on a
foundation of similar underlying values
and beliefs.
“It is okay to have different interests or
movie likes, but similarity in key life
values (e.g., views on money, the
importance of religion or how you raise
children) is what keeps people together
over the long-term,” she explained.
5. Your family and friends give the
relationship their stamp of approval.
Despite what your once-rebellious heart
might have told you, your family’s
approval of your significant other does
matter. W. Bradford Wilcox, the director
of the National Marriage Project, told
HuffPost Weddings that high levels of
social support from your nearest and
dearest are crucial to a happy marriage.
“Such friends and family often have a
more objective view of your partner than
you do,” he said. “And their support can
be invaluable after the wedding. We
know that couples who have parents, in-
laws, and friends who support them as a
couple are much more likely to go the
distance.”
6. You are willing to put the “we” before
the “me.”
A commitment to doing what is best for
the relationship, rather than what is
best for the individual partner, is a
strong predictor of future marital
satisfaction. “People who are marriage-
minded should look for a partner who
talks and thinks in terms of ‘we’ not
‘me’,” Wilcox said. “Someone who
articulates shared dreams, shared
values, and a willingness to put the
relationship above his or her desires.
Couples who put their marriage above
their own desires are more likely to
flourish.”
7. You find yourself missing your
partner when he or she isn’t around.
Benjamin Le — co-founder of
ScienceOfRelationships.com — says it’s
important to miss your partner when he
or she is away. “If they are ‘out of
sight, out of mind,’ that doesn’t bode
well,” he said. “But if you have an
emotional response to him or her being
away, it’s a signal that you really want
to be with him or her.”
Source: huffpost. com
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